Sleeping In a Bed that Was Once Shared With Someone Other Than You!

Sleeping In a Bed that Was Once Shared With Someone Other Than You! I promised one of my good friends that I would write a piece that would address the world that seems to be closing in on her. She has just had a spouse to pass on, so she is in so much pain and in a state of wondering how and why. While I was thinking of this undertaking, I thought that she was certainly not alone in what she is feeling. There are so many that are sad over the loss of a spouse without that spouse dying. There are scores of folks that have been hit hard by divorce or abandonment. I would certainly say without any inhibition at all that we live in one of the most challenging days for relationships that this world may have seen. The stress, the drama, the demands, and the swift pace of this day all presents challenges for any and all relationships! I am writing this piece to uplift the spirits of others, and by no means am I proclaiming to be a relationship expert, but I do want to write a word that would address the pain that some are feeling. It is more than a chore to confront a bed that was once accompanied by a spouse. Whether through death, or via divorce or abandonment, this is a season that one needs to adjust to. There are many that have seen a spouse depart, and have gone on with their life as if nothing happened , well I am not addressing them, my purpose in this note would be to address those of you that are hurting ever so bad.

Many of you remember the days when one’s vows were extolled ever so loudly to a crowd of folks. Dreams of growing old together were the order of the day! Yet in the midst of your living happily ever after and growing old together dreams and visions, the unexpected happened. You never envisioned that you would be “back on the block”, what in the world Lord, do you mean I once again have to play the dating game? That game has changed so much, so how in the world am I to navigate those waters once again? Being a preacher of the Gospel I am primarily writing to those of you that have lost a spouse, yet I am not oblivious that many of you are grieving over one that you have no papers on or for. The various common law situations that cover this land are so great in number, did the church’s cry of the word “shacking” ever hit its target? If so, it didn’t hit it squarely! So if I hit you with a word, folks don’t send me to Hades if those who lost a “shackee’ get a word by continuing to read. Well besides the obvious things that married folks do, an empty bed presents challenges for those of you that are just not used to it! In this note I know that there are ever so many of you that could be married that are sleeping in a bed that was once accompanied by someone else. This is quite a day for relationships, I just don’t see how any of us can deal with the stress, the drama, the pain that it takes to make relationships work without prayer. Not going deep on you, but a relationship is the mending of two case histories together, and combining those two into one! What a challenge!

While some women have dreamed of getting married since they got their first Easy Bake Oven, many men have had so little training in the relationship department. A man seldom got pats on the back from his friends in the old neighborhood for preparing for marriage. In the midst of playing with one’s racetracks, GI Joes, and Dump Trucks we were seldom prepared for this thing called relationships. Many men have been applauded over the years for their conquests, and not for enduring relationships by their peers. This part of the spirit of this age, can’t be addressed without prayer folks. When you heart’s inner lining has been ripped asunder by the loss of a spouse for whatever reason, it takes a lot more than some catchy jingle, a silent relationship mantra, or some “Oprahisque” saying to overcome it. It is a challenge for those that once had married folks actions if you know what I mean, and all of a sudden there is not the availability of one that is betroth to you that you have papers on to help you meet that need. When things go bump in the night the words of a prayer partner often present a calm that may not last through the night! God sees your pain! God knows that you are challenged by your desires.

While I will get stoned for this message, it was needed. The church is one of the last places that people would seek help for their relationships. The counseling of one’s relationships are challenged ever so greatly by the rising amount of church leaders that are having problems with their own relationships! Well Folks I am not taking some standard bearer action by writing this note, but I am lifting up the need for a joint prayer for all of you that are hurting ever so badly! Maybe if the church gets its head out of the sand, and admits that we have relationship challenges in the day which we live in, then maybe folks will stop running to the world for help with their relationships. Yes being with someone else is a mighty mighty challenge! The enemy knows that if he hits mom and dad with enough problems that often he gets the kids by default. Did I say kids? Kids are often the collateral damage of losing a spouse! They miss the person that is gone as much or even more than you. Their world has been rocked also, so they are in need of healing to. My prayer would be that your heart’s inner lining and theirs would not snap.

God is a friend that will stick closer than a brother, and closer than most lovers. In your pain seek Him that is a Healer of Hearts and the one that can bring you out of the pain that you are experiencing! Folks it won’t happen overnight, but if you trust He who can deliver Peace in the Midst of The Storm then day by day in every way you will be better. God doesn’t want you to live in a dust heap, folks your life is not over. He Knows and He Cares! Folks I am busy praying for you! So please pray for me! You Can Make It Through This! I Promise You That You Can! Your Work Is Not Over! Pick Up The Pieces and Let’s March Into A New Realm! Yes it hurts, but doesn’t anything in this world worth fighting for feel the same way? God can Heal You From the Dark Shadows, and The Waves of Pain! Your Physical Needs Meter Can Be Tempered Also! I am busy praying for you once again! If God is Able to Do That Which Is Impossible, Will You Please Trust Him With This? He Can and He Will Be a Shelter From the Rain and The Pain! May Almighty God Hold Your Firmly In His Awesome Arms!

Respectfully Submitted,
Pastor Stephen F. Smith


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